Friday, May 14, 2021

Is this game real?

The world is divided into two types of people: those who divide people into two type... and gamers.

Here's a quiz to puzzle both. Read the following descriptions and determine which games are real and which I have simply invented for entertainment purposes. There will be a couple of easy ones to give the gamers an unfair advantage.

I will supply the answers... eventually. No cheating by using the internets.

The entries are numbered to aid scoring. Are you ready? Set! Go!


1. Goat Simulator
Goat Simulator is the latest in goat simulation technology, bringing next-gen goat simulation to YOU. You no longer have to fantasize about being a goat, your dreams have finally come true! Gameplay-wise, Goat Simulator is all about causing as much destruction as you possibly can as a goat. It has been compared to an old-school skating game, except instead of being a skater, you're a goat, and instead of doing tricks, you wreck stuff. Destroy things with style, such as doing a backflip while headbutting a bucket through a window, and you'll earn even more points! Or you could just give Steam Workshop a spin and create your own goats, levels, missions, and more! When it comes to goats, not even the sky is the limit, as you can probably just bug through it and crash the game.

2. Hatoful Boyfriend
You've been accepted as the only human student at the prestigious St. PigeoNation's Institute, a school for talented birds! Roam the halls and find love in between classes as a sophomore student at the world's greatest pigeon high school. Finding happiness won't be easy, but it's not all academic - there's always time for a little romance in this delightful remake of the popular avian dating sim.

3. Octodad: Dadliest Catch

A game about destruction, deception, and fatherhood. The player controls Octodad, a dapper octopus masquerading as a human, as he goes about his life. Octodad's existence is a constant struggle, as he must master mundane tasks with his unwieldy boneless tentacles while simultaneously keeping his cephalopodan nature a secret from his human family.

4. Prison Architect
The world's latest Prison Management Sim. Starting with an empty plot of land you must construct a holding cell with basic water and electricity to house your first batch of prisoners, to buy you enough time to create a proper cell block. You'll need to hire some guards, get some showers built and unless the kitchen is up and running with chefs working away you're going to end up with a riot on your hands. From there you take your prison in which-ever direction you like.

5. Genital Jousting
Genital Jousting is an online and local multiplayer party game about flaccid penises and wiggly anuses for up to eight players at once. Players control a detached penis complete with testicles and an anus. Multiple game modes provide a stimulating orgy of objectives: penetrate and be penetrated as fast as possible or compete in absurd, silly and sexually suggestive games and challenges.

6. Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion
Take control of an adorable turnip who happens to be an absolute menace to society. After failing to pay taxes and getting evicted from your home, you must go on an epic quest to pay back your massive debt to Mayor Onion. Garden tools to solve plantastic puzzles, meet eccentric vegetables and fruits, and take on treacherous fights against animals both big and small. Along the journey uncover what’s spoiling this garden community and rise to tear down the corrupt vegetable government!

7. I'a'Ia Cofflhu Fhtagnyaa
The pale sunlight looked distorted after passing through the clouds, even if it was spilled on the exterior wall of the small shop, it could not make me see its logo clearly. It seems to be some kind of strange and distorted text. Although it looks familiar, it is not the text of this world. The moment I walked into the store, the strong and weird smell seemed to be annoying in life. These smells passed through the nose and entered the brain, making people tremble. Under the light, the smile on the girl's face became more terrifying, and her lips made terrible words. "The coffee is brewed. I will give you a 20% discount so just drink it." The developers describe the content like this: Bikini, Underwear, Sexy pose, Alcohol.

8. Exit: A Biodelic Adventure
Welcome to the world of living technologies, a world in which computers can be fed and cured, where DNA-passwords open gene-locks, and insect hormones revitalize memory. A world with biofactories that give birth to household utensils, where genetically-modified molds can generate virtual realities, and — worst of all — where an epidemic is ravaging the human race, infecting people's neuronet implants and enslaving them to the mysterious Worm. You'll end up locked underwater with a giant ichthyoserver, trip on biogenic hallucinations and even get tied up among mutant beetles. You'll program sentient tangles of tentacles with foreign genes! Don't forget your own body, of course: you'll give yourself extra fingers, lend your eye to a biorobot for espionage, and even let your nose run off and whiff some spores for a while. You'll even enter your own spine!

9. Insect Builder
Create your own pancrustacean invertebrates using easy point-and-click tools, including an innovative hexapod menu system. Choose from three body parts (head, thorax and abdomen), add in pairs of jointed legs, customise the shape and colour of your compound eyes, and finish off your look with stylish antennae. As you advance through the levels you will obtain new points for customisation, as well as shaders for your chitinous exoskeleton. Gameplay involves searching for food in a variety of environments, avoidance of predators, and surviving the humans with their pest control programs and insecticides. Move about by walking, flying, or swimming. Obtain jet propulsion or extra wing sets. Attract a mate using stridulation or communicate with light. Explore your biodiversity!

10. GAG: The Impotent Mystery
You play Gary Tusker, a secret service agent who is specialized in preventing sexual and religious perversions. He is very professional, though he is - according to the manual - an "impotent virgin" too. While studying at Antarctic Academy for Secret Agents, he was once bitten in his private parts by a penguin with poison teeth, which resulted in his particular condition. Marquis de la Bourbon, a retired Air Force fighter pilot & drunkard, and his wife Margo, who practices witchcraft, are involved with a group of Satan worshipers, known as the Dark Brothers. Gary is assigned by his lovely boss Lucy to investigate what is going on in Castle de la Bourbon and what the evil plans of the Dark Brothers are.

11. Toilet Tycoon
Toilet Tycoon is an unusual economic simulation in which you can prove your skills as a leader of the sanitarian installations of a whole town! How would you like to be in a line of business that’s totally crisis proof? You can see for yourself that money doesn’t stink as a MANAGER of pay toilets! When you start up as a toilet cleaner, you will need to make sure that your SEED CAPITAL of 500,000 euros is wisely invested. Therefore, you purchase your first allotment and equip it with only what is absolutely necessary: basic model toilets and paper... But that’s just the beginning; with competitors that never sleep and the escalating tastes of your customers, you will need INNOVATIONS to increase profits. Next stop: Golden bowls, silk toilet tissue and seats with handy cup holders.

12. Chef Boyardee’s Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa
The Great B-Ball Purge of 2041, a day so painful to some that it is referred to only as the “B-Ballnacht”. Thousands upon thousands of the world’s greatest ballers were massacred in a swath of violence and sports bigotry as the game was outlawed worldwide. The reason: the Chaos Dunk, a jam so powerful its mere existence threatens the balance of chaos and order. Among the few ballers and fans that survived the basketball genocide was Charles Barkley, the man capable of performing the “Verboten Jam”... Flash forward 12 years to the post-cyberpocalyptic ruins of Neo New York, 2053. A Chaos Dunk rocks the island of Manhattan, killing 15 million. When the finger is put on the ageing Charles Barkley, he must evade the capture of the B-Ball Removal Department, led by former friend and baller Michael Jordan, and disappear into the dangerous underground of the post-cyberpocalypse to clear his name and find out the mysterious truth behind the Chaos Dunk. Joined by allies along the way, including his son Hoopz, Barkley must face the dangers of a life he thought he gave up a long time ago and discover the secrets behind the terrorist organization B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.

13. The Void
Tension is a survival adventure game, in which you have to stay alive in the hostile world of Void and to get out from it as quick as possible. The choice is either to support life in its horrifying Hunters or its mournful girls or strip them of it. The way you pass through The Void is the way it changes. The way it reflects upon you. The surrealistic world of Tension is based on a single resource that grants the ability to live and act: Lympha. Each colour of Lympha possesses its own character and unique properties -- both useful and dangerous. Only Lympha gives life, but it can take it back as well. Hunters? blood, captured creature, gracious girls, tree brought to life, just everything is the source of Lympha. Any action you take: battling an enemy, talking to a Sister, hunting, searching, travelling -- the price in exchange is Lympha.

14. Jeanne at the Clock Tower
After being transported to a strange and distorted world shrouded by endless fog, a World War II French solider meets the fated girl trapped at the center of a history of war - Jeanne. The young soldier and Jeanne the Maiden set out on a journey of penance in this historic fantasy visual novel. This title is not suitable for players under the age of 18 or those who may find the following unpleasant or distasteful: consensual and non-consensual sex between adult men and women, including homosexual sex; violence including blood, stabbing, torture, and killing.

15. Saturday of Piercing Screams

Enemy made the cursed infinite-spanning castle Samozbor as their base. You are best liquidator in the world. Can you survive the ordeals of that forbidden dimension and come home alive? Become hero of the 1917 revolution in Russia! Pioneers of the Fist occupied the Castle Samozbor. You are the best liquidator Red Army does have. Your task is to crush the members of counter-revolution and escape your doom. Vanquish your foes with bricks, your own weight or bombs.

16. Boring in Paradise
Two arcade games in one: "Antipain" & "Antitrolley". The first is a pseudo-three-dimensional runner. It's a kind of meditation. The second is race against time with a top view. Run over few pedestrians by accident or become a road killer. To avoid pain or to be that pain. Notice objects in this world or discern a foundation in it. To choose. Not to choose. Accident or cruelty. Mercy or coincidence. Music. Screams. Overcome or substitute. Imaginary cities or a mirror of loneliness. Executioner and victim, at least. They are close. They almost communicate, even if they delegate to doubles. A world is seen again.

17. Cat President: A More Purrfect Union
Find love, in a world where cats run the U.S. government! You're just an ordinary teen girl looking for work after your college dreams didn't quite pan out. But when you get lost backstage during a national debate, you find so much more: a bunch of talking cats who are running for President. And that's not even the weird part—they all want to hire YOU as a campaign manager! Can you handle the world of Presidential politics? Do you even know what a campaign manager does? Will you find love with your candidate in order to form...a more purrfect union?

18. Refuge For Troubles. Episode 1: Dear Stranger
While people resent the new epidemic, more and more infected appear in hospitals. Nick ran away from his home. The doors of insulator are closed to visitors, but it wont stop him. Nick is scared, but it's no turning back, he's determined to find his friend, his last close person. Nick doesn't know what to expect inside, there were all sorts of rumours among him. Somebody says that the illness is turning humans into animals, somebody says that into plants, others thinks that all this is a lie of the state media. This place seems empty and dead when you first get inside. But if you pay enough attention to it's puzzles and riddles, it'll accept you as the most Dear Stranger.


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