Sunday, October 30, 2005

The Funniest Things You Will Ever Read -- Part One

I am sorry to say I found these things really funny. Don't read them all at once or you will die. And that's not my fault. Also, some may be offensive, but life is like that. I have collected these up over many months, even years. Unfortunately I had to delete a few stale links, so you will never read about, for example, the human soup. Here is the first dozen. There are lots more, so subscribe to this blog and die laughing!

"Watching television can cause demon possession in infants, scientist claims." Just keep hitting refresh for more goodness. Go!

I am sorry to have to inflict these rodents on you. Really. Go!

I like badgers as much as the next guy. Actually I like badgers far more than the next guy. Which is obviously better for you, if you happen to be standing next to that next guy. This one is quite famous. Go!

A bomb squad robot describes the institution of marriage as it relates to pre-historic social groups and genetic meme propagation. This will offend. Go!

The Coca-Cola Nazi advert challenge. Not actually any sort of a joke. Go!

Damn strange way to advertise a sandwich. But then again, rodents, chickens and pigeons seem to be inately compelling, as many of these links show. Go!

Read through to the last line. So true. Go!

How to protect yourself from terrorists, according to MI5: "Cut back dense shrubs." This article disappeared from The Independent, but I found it again. Go!

More hamsters. This time they are actually creating music. Go!

Yes, but is it a great place to work? You really must read all of this, small print included. Go!

"Looking for rear love, marriage". Unfortunately, after about one year, that person has finally removed their page from Yahoo Personals, thus saving themselves further infamy, a life of ridicule, and -- just possibly -- a very exciting marriage.

The Bristol University Safety Office will provide you with a copy of the film "I Think I Need To Use An Isotope". Can't wait to meet their cheerleaders. I also wonder how a film entitled "Apaches" is about "farm safety, directed at children". Go!

"Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex brings up some pretty good questions."
-- Woody Allen


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